Day 16 of the 30 Day challenge and I know I said no more drama but this is too good to not share. I got an e-mail around 3:00pm and they needed a check in person for Barbara’s 4:15pm class and so I said I would do it. Melinda also responded around the same time as me so I wasn’t in a rush to finish up what I was working on at work. I began to chat with my cousin and during the course of the conversation she mentioned to be how a family member of mine was telling her that women’s sports had made another one of my family members a lesbian. I immediately flew off the handle and started to tell her what a “jerk” (I’ll clean it up for you all since you don’t need to hear what a potty mouth I have when I am angry) he is. My family doesn’t speak about anything other than God’s love and ignores the things that they do not approve of. I am welcome to participate in the family as long as they are not confronted with my lifestyle choices and there is certainly no place in their lives for William and our relationship of over 10 years. I have witnessed the affect that this has had on other members of my family both gay and straight and have chosen to make their beliefs public in order to secure the fact that this religious bigotry is not perpetuated in another generation of my family. Although my cousins support me and continue to share in my life, I stand alone in my protest and boycott of the family until William is given his equal rights and share in the place that he deserves. I have not asked anyone to share in my burden. It is beyond anything I have ever experienced facing the rejection of my parents, grandparents and certain family members and I would not expect anyone else to make that choice with me. I want to show kindness to my family in a way that they have not shown me. Acceptance when they are ready. I am secure in the knowledge that this may never be. I however will not, cannot and will never allow ignorance to be thrown around in my direction without sharing my truth. My days of silence are over. I just wish that I would remember that as I knee jerk react to said ignorance. In this day and age to be directly confronted with prejudice is just shocking. I immediately left and went to the yoga studio and set my mat down. I tried to have a normal conversation with Kyle and Brendan but could only talk about myself (which as I was talking I was trying to get myself to say, hi how are you….how have you two been…but continued to tell them what a “jerk” I was related to). I got on my mat and practiced angry yoga for a solid 45 minutes before I realized…Hey…you’re not thinking about your practice and you’re doing better than you regularly do. I was in a hip opener on the outside edge of my front foot with my torso in a twist with my back knee up off the mat and it dawned on me….Your stronger than you think you are. I smiled and my mind settled and I began to release my anger and embrace my practice. I thought of Jimmy and said to myself, Happy Yoga Aaron. I left my mat less defeated by my anger and with a better understanding of who I am and where I am at in life. A few years ago, I would have been defeated in my sorrows. But today, I was pissed for an hour and a half and now I am moving on. That’s progress for me. Every day I move a little closer to where I have set my eyes on the horizon. I push myself to be the person that I want to be. Even if I fight myself and my nature dragging, kicking and screaming to get there. Day 16 yoga…..check!
Congrats to everyone that has completed at least 16 days of Yoga in 16 days (presented in Alphabetical order):
Van Schaack, Leslie